Teacher's Pet: Introduction

"I love you, Mr.Hiddleston."

His kind expression fades. His eyebrows rise, his forehead wrinkles and his lips part as if to respond but he doesn’t and that makes it worse. He stares at me, his blue eyes wide in shock, his hand that had been holding the marker and signing my yearbook frozen in place.

I shift my weight and look expectantly at him, waiting. Waiting for him to say something, anything. I swallow, my mouth suddenly dry and I feel my cheeks beginning to burn with humiliation.

Had I made an incredibly stupid mistake? Had I read all the signs wrong? He must think I’m completely out of my mind and the way he is looking at me right now, I feel it. I feel my face growing even hotter in the stretch of silence and burning tears are building in my eyes.

"I…I’m sorry," I manage to choke out. God, I am such an idiot!

My apology seems to jolt him because he finally moves, finally reacts…by blinking.

I suck in a deep breath and then bolt for the exit. I feel my thigh knock into the corner of his desk, jolting it and causing a glass vase with plastic flowers in it to fall to the ground and break. I hear his chair’s legs scrape against the floor. I can’t look back, I can’t turn around. I’ve already made an ass out of myself and stopping will only make it worse. I slam my palms against the release on the heavy metal door and it flies open.

My sneakers pound on the cement and I put as much space as I possibly can between me and the drama room. I run through an open gate and round a portable building and spot the girls bathroom. I dive inside the open door, into the empty handicap stall and pull the latch with a loud clack.

I back up, starring at the black and white speckled door until my back meets the wall. I slide down it, feeling numb. I sit there for a few seconds, starring at the bathroom door and listening to the quiet sound of the wind blowing over the roof outside. I’m holding my breath expecting to hear… what?

The sound of his footsteps? His voice calling my name with genuine concern? I hear none of that. He doesn’t come bursting into the bathroom like he would if we were in a movie.

A feeling of complete and utter failure overcomes me and all at once, I fall apart. A shuddering sob escapes my mouth and I choke. Tears rolls down my cheeks and I try to muffle my crying with my hands.

Stupid girl. Stupid, stupid girl… What did you think was going to happen? You are so stupid! God, how pathetic…

None of this happened how I thought it would. I had thought about it so carefully, calculated every outcome… expect this one. I had prepared myself for a rejection, as I knew it probably would be.

He would be embarrassed, flattered and let me down gently by choosing each word with care so not to wound my feelings too deeply- he is so considerate that way- but I didn’t think he would just stare at me, completely speechless. Another sob wracks through me at the memory of his face still fresh in my mind.

How could this have gone so wrong?